Thursday, December 22, 2011

Courtney with a C loves Tavi with a T

About a month ago I was at a party at my parent's friend's house. I was enjoying some wine with the hostess in the kitchen when in came her 12-year old daughter and 2 friends. I immediately realized that these girls were all wearing jean underwear shorts and midriff tops. Did I mention it was November? And freezing? The girls were giggling adorably in a way that seemed incongruent with their baby-hooker outfits. They were also standing in that way - you know the way - with their hips jutted out, leaning back slightly to either look "too cool" to stand up straight or to make their tummies flatter. I'm not sure. Or maybe this is just the way tween girls stand based on a confidence/hormonal thing? Anyway, when I introduced myself as "Courtney," the hostess's daughter literally gasped and slapped her hand across her mouth.

"Ohmahgod. Wait like, Courtney with K?! Like Kourtney Kardashian?!?!?!!" she squealed. Her friends looked at me wide-eyed.

I stood there slightly dumb-founded for a moment. Not only is Kourtney Kardashian 30 years old and in an emotionally abusive relationship and has a child with one of the most deplorable men I've ever had the displeasure of watching on TV, but she also has absolutely no discernable talent or reason for becoming a famous millionaire and having her own TV show. Why do these girls know who she is? Or watch her show? Or find it so cool that I share her name? Frankly I am a little embaressed to be associated with someone like that.

"No," I replied with slight amusement. "I'm Courtney with a 'C'." (I now wish I had said, "and the 'C' is for courageous!!!!!!!")

When I broke this news to them, they looked dissappointed. As if somehow I'd be instantly kooler if my name was Courtney with a K, like this famous person who is famous merely because her family sells their souls for money and fame... *sigh* is this what our future looks like? I'll be right back. I need to go to the bathroom and stick my head in the toilet and flush it...

Alas! Behold! Hark! It is not! Because you see there are girls like Tavi Gevinson (aka the style rookie, aka the girl in the videos above) and my co-worker's daughter who makes and enjoys eating German Christmas cookies with her mom and who doesn't fit into skinny jeans but understands that her ability to be a good sister and a good daughter are far more important than that. I also think there is hope for all girls, even the girls from my story, because life has a way of forcing us to realize what actually matters. You can try to blind yourself from what is real for only so long. Life has a way of cracking our perfect shells of how the world/others/yourself should be or should look, the way tapping a spoon on the carmelized sugar surface of crème brûlée breaks the thin crust to reveal a creamy, richer filling.

Or, as Leonard Cohen says "there is a crack in everything, that is how the light gets in." So remember to be thankful for the cracks, the imperfections, the struggles, the questions, the confusion and the quirky uniqueness that makes you you. It's what makes us human, and simultaneously it's what brings us closer to the infinite goodness (godliness) that connects all beings. Even those Kardashians, God help them.

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