'I feel there is an angel in me' she'd say
'whom I am constantly shocking'
- from poem Number 8 by Lawrence Ferlinghetti
Pardon my French in this title, but there is really no other way to say it. I recently read an article by one of my favorite authors, Martha Beck, entitled "The Halo Effect: Are You Too Good for your Own Good?" which is about how to stop seeking approval from others all the time. It's funny because often we think of "goodness" and whores as being polar opposites, but in reality we (read: ME) whore ourselves out (i.e.,stuff down our authentic selves) in order to seem angelic and in order to please others and be "liked" by everyone. I really deeply encourage you to read the article. It's funny, witty and very wise.
I found this article to be so true for me. I am 100% a self-admitted approval whore. I am constantly tailoring, tweaking and editing what I say and do and wear so that I don't offend anyone or so that I can please the other person. (Heck, I am doing it right now even as I write this for all of you nameless, faceless readers out there!) I try to be "nice" and complimentary and pleasant to everyone. But here is the problem - how the f*$# do I know what other people want or what they want me to say? I am not a mind reader, even though I often think I am. I don't know what other people think because I don't live inside their head. So really, I am contorting myself into some very weird, awkward, odd version of a thing that I think I should be or that I think other people want me to be. Instead of ME! I think as girls we are sometimes afraid to be ourselves, to be loud, to be messy, to argue, to disagree, to tell it like it is, to not be perfect little angels.
So just for today, do something against the status quo. Disagree with someone you are afraid to disagree with. Speak up. Tell someone how you feel even if it will upset them. Say no. Say yes (to something that you want to do but are afraid will make you look "weird.") Say something unruly. Say nothing. Wear white after labor day. Do a little jig in the hallway. Stand out. Today, I decided to wear a dress with crazy colors to work and a bright, electric blue sweater. Why? Because I can. And because whoever said that you have to wear muted, bleak colors to work was probably someone who needs a hug.
But before you go do anything, read that article first.
'whom I am constantly shocking'
- from poem Number 8 by Lawrence Ferlinghetti
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| photo courtesy photofurl.com |
Pardon my French in this title, but there is really no other way to say it. I recently read an article by one of my favorite authors, Martha Beck, entitled "The Halo Effect: Are You Too Good for your Own Good?" which is about how to stop seeking approval from others all the time. It's funny because often we think of "goodness" and whores as being polar opposites, but in reality we (read: ME) whore ourselves out (i.e.,stuff down our authentic selves) in order to seem angelic and in order to please others and be "liked" by everyone. I really deeply encourage you to read the article. It's funny, witty and very wise.
I found this article to be so true for me. I am 100% a self-admitted approval whore. I am constantly tailoring, tweaking and editing what I say and do and wear so that I don't offend anyone or so that I can please the other person. (Heck, I am doing it right now even as I write this for all of you nameless, faceless readers out there!) I try to be "nice" and complimentary and pleasant to everyone. But here is the problem - how the f*$# do I know what other people want or what they want me to say? I am not a mind reader, even though I often think I am. I don't know what other people think because I don't live inside their head. So really, I am contorting myself into some very weird, awkward, odd version of a thing that I think I should be or that I think other people want me to be. Instead of ME! I think as girls we are sometimes afraid to be ourselves, to be loud, to be messy, to argue, to disagree, to tell it like it is, to not be perfect little angels.
So just for today, do something against the status quo. Disagree with someone you are afraid to disagree with. Speak up. Tell someone how you feel even if it will upset them. Say no. Say yes (to something that you want to do but are afraid will make you look "weird.") Say something unruly. Say nothing. Wear white after labor day. Do a little jig in the hallway. Stand out. Today, I decided to wear a dress with crazy colors to work and a bright, electric blue sweater. Why? Because I can. And because whoever said that you have to wear muted, bleak colors to work was probably someone who needs a hug.
But before you go do anything, read that article first.
1 comment:
Amen sister!
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